9 rules to deal with angry people
1. Keep calm and think about it carefully
When someone is angry, it is not their fault - but their emotional state. Just try to treat angry people with kindness and express your desire to help them, help them solve problems and deal with their negative emotions.
However, do not say it straight like "I want to help you" or something. It's more like you are ridiculing them rather than sincerely wanting to help them. It would be better if you just quietly give up your sense of self-importance and focus on understanding your common problem.
2. Control your own emotions
You will become vulnerable when you are angry. Do your best not to be angry like the other and try to keep your mind calm. This is the only way for you to escape the conflict without harming yourself.
3. Understand the problem
Usually, we will not be able to identify the cause of our anger. We say a lot of things that should not be said. We are confused, and we are lost. To solve the problem, it is important to fix it as reasonable as possible. The best strategy is to ask specific questions and give clear answers for everything that person asks you, only the most important parts.
4. Try to solve a common problem together
When someone is mad at you, it is always a matter of you both. The main goal should be to solve this common problem.
Try to find the cause of the conflict as clearly as possible. In this way you will be able to isolate the main problem and help the other better understand themselves. Clarify each point. What happened? Why is it not good? What do they expect? Which are not accurate points?
5. Do not be afraid that you are the wrong one
Do not think you have to be right, because you are not against your emotions. It may be that in the end you will be the wrong one, but it doesn’t matter at all.
As soon as you begin to argue, always have confidence in yourself. But do not be too conservative, listen to their opinions, prepare for any results, then calmly consider the problem. Do not be afraid to hurt your pride, just end it by apologizing and correcting your mistakes.
6. Do not pretend that you don’t care
Do not try to pretend that it doesn’t matter, that you do not care at all. When you really try to stay calm and you can control the situation, that's great. But it is a completely different story if you have been hurt, angry without admitting, the situation will be even worse.
7. Ask what you can do to improve the situation
"What should I do?" – This is a simple question that shows your calm. It is a reliable, sincere signal to expresses your desire to solve the problem. And it really helps to understand the situation as quickly, efficiently and as reasonably as possible.
8. Do not put yourself on top of others
Anger is one of the most negative and destructive emotions. When someone talks to with anger, it does not mean they have become a worse person than you are. It means they feel worse than you do. So, the first thing you should do is help them deal with their emotions. Try not to put yourself above the other, this behavior can completely ruin your relationship.
9. If one of you is not ready to talk, give each other time to think
If the other is too angry, give them time and space to calm down. If you are not ready to admit your mistake and talk about reconciliation, you should give yourself time and space to think too. Do not start the conversation when one of you is not ready. Trying to solve a problem when both are not ready to do so is a bad idea, because when you get angry, you make the wrong decision.
By: Archie Henderson